What Does It Mean to Be a Successful Person?
"Success" is a subjective and ever-changing variable. Everyone should ask themselves more than once: What does it mean to be successful in my life?
Feeling successful is what truly makes us self-actualized individuals.
Success must be distinguished from fame. We can be externally recognised but internally frustrated. The key is to feel successful from self-improvement, which involves stepping out of our comfort zone. Moving out of our comfort zone, we conquer new learnings and unfold as individuals, expanding our identity. This dynamic appreciation of personality involves moving away from saying "I am like this" to "I am becoming." We are processes, not finished products. We are rivers, not stagnant water. If we stagnate, we become demotivated. And when we find no reason to act (motiv/ation), we become stuck, increasing the risks of apathy and depression.
We feel successful when we expand our identity as much as possible: daring to do what we previously did not, taking on a new role, learning something new, letting go of something old, transcending conditioning.
Understanding success as an "attitude of conquest" in the face of life's challenges distances us from a materialistic view where success is often about achieving an alienated result. The definition of success is personal and should detach from societal norms. What society proposes as success alienates us more than it frees us. Like little rats on a wheel, we get dizzy chasing what, once achieved, is no longer valued.
We need to filter the variable "success personally." Thus, a person can feel tremendously successful in quitting smoking, learning a language, controlling an impulse, or overcoming an addiction.
I would talk about successes in the plural and say they are... "those intimate battles won that provide daily self-confidence to set new feats."
Feeling successful involves learning to deal with frustration
If feeling successful means stepping out of your comfort zone, learning to cope with disappointment and frustration is essential.
Winston Churchill, a Nobel Prize in Literature winner, once said: "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." This expression resembles the image of a person whistling through life, learning to swing with difficulty rather than a place to arrive under the illusion of happiness...There's no distant success we need to reach; there are successful people who feel such because they assume an attitude of constant self-improvement. Who doesn't risk doesn't win, and life satisfaction goes hand in hand with our efforts to feel comfortable with life.
I love digging into the etymology of words and I have discovered that the word "success" translates into Spanish as "éxito", this word shares the same root as "exist". That is why when we set goals, when we have projects, we feel immensely alive, connected to our "exist-ence". And "fail" translates into Spanish as "fracaso" and shares the same root with "fraccionarse" (break). That's how we feel: shattered into a thousand pieces when we are disappointed... and this disappointment, far from being dramatically tragic, can be an opportunity to pick up our pieces and rebuild ourselves into a better version.
Those who reinvent themselves soon embark on a new dream. Thus, disappointment is followed by a new improvement...nothing is threatening in frustration if we add to this that nothing is in vain and we always achieve new learning in the art of "rearming ourselves", after feeling ourselves falling.
A life of success is not made only of inspiration; 80% is perspiration. This partly explains why seemingly successful people feel little value.
Two possible answers can explain this "tasteless" experience
On the one hand, people who have pursued externally defined objectives. Family conditioning social mandates sometimes cloud our vision and silence our inner voice. Thus, we go like donkeys after carrots that are not ours, and when we finally take a bite, we don't like the taste.
On the other hand, people who are placed on stage without having worked on the "script" without living the emotion backstage. Children of "successful" parents who, in comfort, do not enjoy the opportunity to test their capacity. It's a borrowed success but needs to be experienced. Adding one's "value" can be an opportunity to feel belonging and add inner satisfaction.
Success does not admit comparison because it does not mean beating anyone. If we fall into that trend, we start looking sideways and lose sight of our aspirations.
What does it mean for me to be successful today?
Also, remember the update variable of this concept. What motivated us at one point may not be what moves us today. Having the courage to review "what we want" and "where we are" is part of defining "where we are going."
We are in continuous movement and it may be that “what was YES before, is NO now”. Rectifying the direction does not imply contradiction. On the contrary, it means abandoning omnipotence and the human arrogance of trying to have it “always clear.” Confusion is part of the question and those who ask themselves are much closer to feeling successful with their lives. Well, they orient their values and actions towards what truly motivates them.
Suggestions to Consider:
- Acknowledge the utterly subjective nature of its definition.
- Dare to ask yourself, "What does success mean to me?" (not for others).
- Stop viewing "success" as an abstract, ideal, and distant concept and start seeing it in practical, everyday, and achievable terms.
- Consider success from a perspective of plurality. A successful life is the sum of small personal victories, of successes that accumulate and forge genuine self-confidence and self-worth.
- Accept its dynamic and changing character. Update its definition through inner reflection and self-actualization
And don't forget...before you embark on your path to success, don't forget to ask yourself, "What are the battles I need to win to feel like a successful person?"